Friday, 28 December 2012

The Best Year of my Life (so far)

The title says it all really. Though this may be slightly premature, I feel like I should share this stuff, because this year has changed me in ways I can never fathom. I've grown as a person and learned a lot. My comprehension of the world has blurred and focused, drifting from sense to madness, which is how the world works I guess. I've done my fair amount of crying and swearing and screaming, but the good will always outweigh the bad. Always.

So, let the beautifully unorganised (can a list be unorganised? It sounds like an oxymoron...) lists begin.

The Glittering Highlights of this Year

Immersing myself in Nerdfighteria and discovering what it is like to be surrounded with people just like you.

Reading all the John Green books

Meeting up with Rose more times than I can count

Finishing Wolfbane

Starting Arwyn, and consequently finishing Arwyn (I do have proper plans for Arwyn, which I will divulge with you at a later date)

Learning Classical Greek/two poems/a very long, complicated song

Discovering Figment and its amazing community of writers

Watching BBC Sherlock and reading all the canon books and stories, teaching me that knowledge is useless when you have no friends or loved ones

Going to see Elbow (the band, not the joint)

Discovering Tumblr, which is a biggie

The world not ending

Talking to new people (both internet and real life) and making new friends, which I needed... desperately needed

Doing work experience in Voltaire and Rousseau

Spending time with my sister/cats

Realising my dreams of becoming a author

Getting good marks in my exams

And above all, discovering myself. It sounds pointlessly cliché, but this is year where I stopped and thought about the world and where I stood in it. This was year that has made me read everything and watch fireworks in wonder, wondering how they work, the year that has made me discard fashion on the basis that I don't care about other people's opinions any more. I know I'm selfish sometimes and that I can be patronising but now I know, and now I can change. I've learned more and read more and done more in this one year than the rest of my life, and finally, I have seen a tiny glimpse of myself in the mist, just enough to give me closure. I'm still lost and confused and scared of the world around me, but the beauty is shining brighter than ever before, and for that, I am grateful.  

Of course, there are more, but those will do just now. I won't post the list of bad things just now - it is considerably shorter, but it will no doubt make me depressed/make you depressed.

It's been another year and I want to thank you. The bad things have made me neglect this blog a bit - I've been so drained and stressed the creative side of me simply gave up and died for a while - but I promise 2013 will be better. Thank you for staying with me. The support has made everything I written and done possible, and without you, I never would have the confidence I do now.

Thank you.


Rose said...

Oh, Jenni, that actually made me tear up a little bit. All those things you listed (or nearly all of them) I can second. This year has taught me so much about myself, and I think about my place and this earth and how things work and friendships and the bigger picture a lot now. I feel as if I'm truly growing up, and I don't mean in terms of height or puberty or school. Those things are, arguably, of secondary importance. What really matters - what I've discovered this year - is that people are complicated and interesting and to be like that yourself you have to be interested in things OTHER than yourself. You have to challenge and accept and ponder and cry with frustration, and I think everyone, to call themselves a person, has to give in and give up on some things. You have to understand what to push further and when to let go. You have to work yourself out, and the only way you will is by asking questions and making choices, pulling yourself together, running before you can walk and falling over as a result. And you have to get back up again.

DFTBA, my wondrous friend. It's been such a brilliant year.

Emily said...

Uuuuuuu-nited States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru!
...sorry. Just had to get that out. I am learning!

Aside from that, well done on completing such a vast amount of things - needless to say, I am unspeakably jealous of Wolfbane and Arwyn, especially if they are as good as our friend in the above comment says they are.