Friday, 9 September 2011

Vera and the Matchmaker

Hiya my lovely blog buddies! Soz I've not been posting but I've had the cold. *sniffle* But I'm all better now (YEY!!) so I'll be able to give you an extra amazing story...
But first, I would like to say thank you to everyone who follows me! I've finally reached 1000 views! To loads of  bloggers out there, this isn't much of an achievement, but to someone with only 12 followers this is astounding! Thank you! I'm looking forward to reaching 2000 views already, so spread the love and creativity! Tell your friends! :D
Next thing - should I rename my blog? I have a few ideas but they're not very good. Leave your suggestions in the the comments!
So, on to the story. This was written on the spot, right here, right now. It's really random because I used something called a Fiction Square. Basically, there's a list of characters, traits, locations, conflicts and objects. You roll the dice for each column and see what you get! I got...


A cheerfully overweight grandmother
A magical matchmaker
A dog
Loneliness
Stately Home


Hopefully, this won't be too much of a fail (it's not very good :/) but still, please comment to tell me what you think! :D


Ding Dong! Vera sighed and slowly hauled herself up out of her armchair. Her long flowing dress bulged over her gigantic form and her rolls of fat wobbled as she walked over the linoleum floor. Already tiny beads of sweat were breaking out on her forehead. Ding Dong! Ding Dong! "I'm coming!" she shouted, her voice creaking with the strain of old age. She was in her 70s - barely a spring chicken - and slightly obese. Vera didn't mind. She had had a lovely life, 3 children, 5 grandchildren and a successful cooking career.  Her only regret was never marrying. Vera grasped the door handle and yanked it open. The door swung round and Vera found herself staring at a beautiful young woman wearing a pair of stripy jeggings and roller-skates.

"Hi," she said, grinning from ear to ear, her long blonde hair sweeping over her face. "Can I come in?" Vera opened her mouth to reply, but before she could say a word, the woman was inside, a whirlwind of bubbly energy and activity. Vera slowly closed the door, wary, and plodded back into the living room. The woman was sitting in her armchair, a cup of tea in her hands. "Hi!" she said cheerily. "I made this for you. Thought you might be thirsty." The woman handed over the cup of tea and slumped back into the chair, an expression of boredom pouring over her face. She sat there for a moment, before suddenly looking up and grinning at a bewildered Vera. "Go on, sit down. It's your house!" Vera obliged and squeezed herself into another seat, completely dazed.

"Wh- What did you say your name was?" Vera asked. her voice sounded posh  compared to the woman's - the by product of being raised by a Duke. She had inherited his manor but she didn't really like it. No, she preferred a cosy cottage to a stately home like this one.

The woman grinned again and whipped out a business card. Vera picked it from the woman's fingers and began to read -

Ellie Baschell
Matchmaker 
800-76555-4333

Vera slowly sat the card down onto the table before glancing up. "Look, I'm sorry, but I didn't call you and I do not need a matchmaker. Thanks for the tea, but could you leave?" Vera waited for a sincere apology or even a slight nod. The woman just sat, frozen in her seat, a smile stretched across her lips.

"You didn't call me," she said, a giggle rising up in her throat. "But I know that you want me. You were thinking about how lonely you were and how you wanted to marry before you die and then BAM I arrive!" The woman clapped her hands with a flourish and wiggled her fingers. "So, what we looking for? A tall blonde? Strong, dark stranger? Or something in between?" Ellie wiggled her eyebrows and laughed at Vera’s expression.

Vera sat in the chair her mouth open and her hands shaking slightly. “You can read minds?” she asked, her blue wrinkled eyes bulbous saucers in her head.

“Of course...well, not exactly. I can hear people say key words, like love, lonely, marry etcetera and then I have to filter through previous thoughts to see whether they really need help or not and then...well, then I turn up.” Ellie shrugged and turned back to Vera. “Anyway, I didn’t come here to chat. Let’s get down to business. Is there a certain type of man you want?”

Vera nodded dumbly and opened her mouth. No words came out and Ellie looked at her expectantly. “Well? What do you want? You can have any man you want, bar celebrity look-alikes or dead people. I can make you a man on the spot, if you’d like but it comes with a price. Or,” she said, lowering her voice to whisper, I can turn something you love into a man...like a laptop or goldfish.” Ellie straightened up and smiled cheekily. “But that’s only for special customers!” She giggled and relaxed back into the seat.

Vera stared at her, unable to believe what she was hearing. Turning a laptop into a man?  It was silly, ridiculous. The woman was making a fool of her, making a fool out of an old lonely woman. Vera slammed the cup down on the table and opened her mouth to shout at Ellie, to threaten her with the police. Then, she stopped. It made sense...sort of, anyway. The cup of tea appearing from nowhere, the mind-reading. Vera felt her mind slipping – maybe this was her way to happiness.

“Say I believe you. Could you turn this mug into a man?”

Ellie beamed and flicked her wrist. The mug began to jerk and spasm in Vera’s hand, its enamel surface growing and splintering. Vera dropped the mug and surprise and with a short, sharp yelp, a man staggered to his feet. He was fat and greasy, his thick brown hair slicked back with what looked like coffee. His hand was stuck on his hip. He was wearing an orange suit, exactly the same shade as the mug. He looked at Vera for a minute and grunted before falling to the floor and shrinking back into the mug.

Vera stared at Ellie in disbelief. She was sitting in the armchair, deep in thought. Suddenly, she turned to Vera. “Right...ok...maybe that wasn’t the best example. It works best if it’s something you love and cherish. That mug wasn’t so much as a soul mate as a...” she stumbled over the right word, “an accessory.” Ellie smiled again and said, “Is there anything in this house, that you love? Anything at all?”

Vera thought for a second and nodded. “My dog, Samson. He’s out back.” Vera slowly stood up but Ellie waved her down. “I’ll get him.” She whistled a long low note and Samson ran through his tail wagging like crazy. He was a whippet, long and thin, with silvery-grey hair and brown eyes. Ellie smiled at him and he jumped into her lap, barking and yelping in delight. Ellie beamed and looked at Vera. “Do you want me to change him?”  Vera slowly nodded and then with a motion of Ellie’s wrist Samson was gone.

A second later, Vera opened her eyes. She wasn’t aware that she had closed them but apparently she had. The thin layer of blackness slowly lifted and Vera sound herself staring into the eyes of a stranger.

He was tall and slim, with tiny liver spots and wrinkles dotting his hands. Wispy gray hair poked out of his head and his feet were clawed with long nails. He had beautiful brown eyes and for a moment Vera could see the echo of her dog, barking and chasing its tail in excitement.

“Samson?” Vera choked out. The man nodded and smiled shyly, wringing his hands. “Samson!” Vera said. She forced herself out of her chair and walked over to him. His hands carefully wrapped around her fingers and they stood in a silent embrace.

“Thank you,” Vera whispered, but she needn’t had bothered – Ellie had already gone, off to save another spinster..

5 comments:

Cat said...

Awesome!! I loved the plot, and the characters (especially Ellie :P). Amazing that you thought of that on the spot!

Lesley said...

I love this - quirky and (dare I say it) lighter in tone that your usual!
Look forward to another one soon!

Rose said...

DO MORE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!
(i agree with lesley)
(please dont kill me)

Jenni said...

@Rose and "Lesley" - Ok, fine I'll write more like this!
@Cat - It actually took over 2 hours to write it and to get it perfect!

Thanks everyone!!

Emily said...

please, the supsense is killing me- what is a fiction square??